


Twenty Students You Never Noticed At Clone High

by aimmyarrowshigh



Category: Clone High
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Gen, Side Story, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28871979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimmyarrowshigh/pseuds/aimmyarrowshigh
Summary: Because NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ABE, ABE, ABE, ABE.Originally posted 17 July 2011.
Kudos: 3





	Twenty Students You Never Noticed At Clone High

**Author's Note:**

> **Originally posted 17 July 2011.**

**001\. Millard Fillmore  
** Yeah, he was there. Look him up.  
  
 **002\. Marilyn Monroe/Jayne Mansfield**  
It was really hot, but somehow, everyone – even JFK – thought it would probably end pretty badly.  
  
Jayne always had more in common with Marie Antoinette, anyway.  
  
 **003\. Jules Verne**  
Jules Verne used to hang out with Joan of Arc at night – when everyone else was asleep.  
  
It was probably a shameful secret, he thinks now. That he and Joan used to sneak out of their houses and _not sleep_ together. But man, those were good times. Good times, when Joan had looked up with her bloodshot, wide-awake eyes and said,   
  
“I think I’m going to get a tattoo that says, ‘wazzzzzaaaaap!’”  
  
and Jules said,  
  
“You know what you should get? A _dolphin_ saying ‘wazzzzzaaaaap!’”  
  
And then she _did_. But then Joan got caught staying awake and was sent off for a three-month stint at Sleepaway Camp and now, the only reminder of Jules Verne/Joan of Arc is a tattoo that will haunt Abraham Lincoln for the rest of his days.  
  
 **004\. Elaine, the Lady of Shalott**  
She was floating in the pool when they flipped the bitch. But what else is new?  
  
 **005\. Liberace**  
Hey, they were cloned way, way back in the 1980s. Seemed like a good idea at the time.  
  
 **006\. Georgia O’Keeffe**  
Georgia O’Keeffe approached Eleanor Roosevelt pretty early on about being the faculty representative for the RiotGrrrrl All-Womyn’s Club & Tea Social. She kept trying to get Joan to join, but it was just not happening… even after Joan proved that girls, like dolphins, could play basketball almost just as well as boys, and dolphins, did.  
  
 **007\. Henry David Thoreau**  
He _warned_ Ponce de León about littering.  
  
 **008\. Teddy Roosevelt**  
He might not be allowed back into the Science Club on pain of death by Anthropomorphic Peanut, but Teddy Roosevelt was the founder and leading member-in-good-standing of the Dissection Club. He also played a mean bugle for Clone High pep rallies. And if ever a good riot leader was needed and Siddhartha couldn’t be found, T.R. was great for leading a charge up the hill.  
  
 **009\. Frankie D. Roosevelt**  
When he pulled that blanket off his lap in the middle of the football field, it all suddenly made so much sense why everyone on the GESH football team felt so superior.  
  
…It was because his _legs didn’t work_ , pervert.  
  
 **010\. bill shakespeare**  
bill shakespeare, all lowercase -- _just like life_ \-- was   
the lead singer of Clone High’s premiere all-man goth   
metal band. Iambic pentam’ter doth  
help bill write songs of such pathos and fizz  
that even Cyrano De Bergerac’s band,  
an homage to the searing, fi’ry pain  
of unrequited love of girls so vain,  
could naught against billy’s loud screamo stand.  
  
{Iambic pentameter: check it.}  
  
 **011\. Buddy Holly**  
Oh, shore, you noticed him alright, but what you didn’t notice was that Buddy Holly was the heppest cat at Clone High.  
  
You thought JFK threw the rockin’est parties? No, sirree!  
  
Buddy Holly’s soirees were white-shoe only affairs, replete with a good Velveeta fondue and, if the parents were soundly two rooms away, perhaps a good, rousing game of Twister. A nightcap of apple juice rounded out the late, late strains of _nine p.m._   
  
Wild, man. _Wild._  
  
And if you thought that Gandhi stood for comedy, then you’ve never seen ole Buddy’s two-step soft shoe routine with Amy Earhart.   
  
**012\. Buzz ~~Lightyear~~ Aldrin**  
Would you like to yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin?

( _Yes, I would._ )

I own you, you dumb moon!

I walked on your face!

Don't you know it's day?   
  
Idiot!  
  
 **013\. Evita Perón**  
Now Evita Perón had every advantage – all the money she would ever need to succeed – lots of money, lots of class, two foster fathers, and bright auditorium lights. Only Cleopatra had been more… places… at the age of fifteen.  
  
She spent a lot of time ministering to Will Gilbert and Artie Sullivan, but so far, nothing’s come of things.  
  
 **014\. Cinna Helvius**  
JFK is the one! He was Cinna the Newspaper Editor, he was Cinna the Newspaper Editor! Truly, he only edited Clone High’s newspaper!  
  
 **015\. Ernest Hemingway**  
Ernzo and Teddy Roosevelt were closer than that other famous Ernie & _______ pair.   
  
They were even closer than JFK and Ponce de León, and you know what everyone says about them. You never saw one without the other.   
  
**016\. Millard Fillmore**  
 _He’s still there_.  
  
 **017\. Cass Elliot & Karen Carpenter**  
Their relationship with the Elvis Twins was more confusing to watch than a game of Pong.  
  
 **018\. Stu Sutcliffe**  
\- - - -   
  
**019\. Gary Coleman**  
He was just so cute, they wanted two of him!  
  
(Again, it was way, way back in the 1980s. Eventually JFK and Cleopatra sold Gary to Marilyn Manson, and it all just spiraled from there into quite another rock opera. Gary’s kind of proof that eating your veggies doesn’t make you grow up big and strong, though, despite what Marilyn said.)  
  
 **020\. Millard Fillmore**  
HE WAS THE THIRTEENTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!  
  
THAT’S A LUCKY NUMBER AND EVERYTHING!  
  
MILLARD.  
  
FILLMORE.  
  
Oh, his clone will make sure you remember the name of Millard Fillmore.  
  
 _And may you rue that day._


End file.
